Valentine’s day makes me feel like a rare, malfunctioned anomaly, because I have never cared about it.
Not in a, “I need a boyfriend” way, as portrayed in almost every romantic comedy. It simply has never occurred to me to invest emotionally in the holiday, whilst in a relationship or not—and I’ve done both.
From this perspective, it’s impossible not to notice the overdone media-constructed trope of the bitter single stereotype. You know the one: desperately seeking a relationship and looking on with envy and disgust at the happy couples swarming around them, thinking, “Why can’t I have that?” “What’s wrong with me?” or, the less nuanced, “Love sucks.”
But it’s possible that in answer to the above, there is nothing wrong with you; you’re a whole person on your own and you’ve just yet to find the “right”, compatible girl or guy for you.
It’s also possible that a reliance on the concept of an overly romanticised, idealised relationship is what’s keeping so many from fruition. They say a watched pot never boils, and maybe it’s the same thing with relationships. If you’re constantly looking for the rose-petalled, icing-frosted concept of, “the one” maybe that’s why you’re missing out on something flawed, but real.
On the other hand some of us find ourselves so desperately distraught on this day because, often times, we are the type to settle into committed relationships on a whim. I have countless friends who go from relationship to relationship with hardly a breath in between, and I wonder if they truly even like the person. (Honestly, where are they even finding all these people to date?)
I have come to believe that a relationship is a partnership that should include both best-friendship and romantic love. If it lacks these you’re doing yourself a romantic disservice by settling— even if it is Valentine’s day and you think you’d “literally die” without a date.
There is nothing wrong with being single. You don’t have to listen to anyone snore; you don’t have to share your food or your blankets. And, you know, you get to sleep with whomever you like. I think the only downfall is not having anyone to help carry your groceries.
At the end of the day, Valentine’s is just another 24 hours, no different than any other. But more importantly, it is not a day on which you should revaluate your self-worth and love life based on the premise of a romanticised day of receiving tacky cards.
That said, there is never a bad time for chocolate and crying over Leo’s death in Titanic. I support this and it should be a year-round phenomenon.